【mundane chores become eroticized under my command】

Famous performers from around the world gathered in Los Angeles on mundane chores become eroticized under my commandSunday night for the 2019 American Music Awards, celebrating the best artists of the year by giving them a clear, pointy stake. As per custom, attendees also took the opportunity to show off their flair for fashion, draping themselves in designer labels that would cost most of us several months of pay.

Performing at the AMAs for the first time was Her Royal Highness Queen Lizzo, who rocked up ready to rule in a ruffled orange Valentino gown. Yet as eye-catching as it was, the dress wasn't what won her the red carpet. It was that she'd paired it with what might be the most expensive Barbie purse ever made.

"It's a Valentino bag," Lizzo said about the minuscule silver bag. "It's custom — there's only three in the world."

It may be exclusive, but it hardly looks practical. You could maybe fit a coin in there, or a single jelly bean. Nevertheless, the Truth Hurtssinger asserted that her bag for ants was enough to hold a few essentials. "I got tampons in here, a flask of tequila, some condoms."

I personally believe that the Lilliputian pouch works more like a signal than a traditional bag. All Lizzo should have to do is flick open its clasp to make dozens of people come running to deliver whatever her heart desires.

Even so, it seems a shame to just carry around an empty purse, no matter how small it is. Fortunately, the internet quickly offered up a few ideas for what Lizzo might fit in there.

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Sometimes it's the little things that matter.