【eroticism in men】

Shared rides on eroticism in menUber and Lyft are a fairly easy way to save some cash on your Saturday night trip home. There's just one caveat: While you are sitting in the car, one or two other people -- strangers -- are sitting in the car, too. What's more, they might want to talk to you.

Are you obligated to talk to them?

Of course, people with different propensities for socializing will probably have different answers to this question. And if your fellow rider tries to strike up a convo, answering is (usually, but not always) the polite thing to do.

But what general vibe should you be emitting here? Do you have to be "on," or is it OK to stare out the window and pretend that you are not alive?

Let's explore.

The case for talking

Tragically, there are a few good reasons to turn your social proclivities on when you hop in the car. Although it seems genuinely impossible, there are at least a few real, actual couples who met in shared rides.

One couple featured in a Daily Mail story, for instance, hit it off when one of them pranked the other one into thinking they already knew each other. Personally, this would make my skin crawl, but they both seemed to enjoy it -- a good sign for their relationship. In fact, UberPOOL and Lyft Line once enjoyed reputations as unofficial dating services, although that trend seems to have waned in recent years.

Romantic connections aren't the only ones to be made in an UberPOOL, though, which is why etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore is in the pro-talking camp. "I would at least make a little small talk with the other passengers," she said in an email. "This makes the time go by, and who knows? You might meet someone very interesting and form a friendship or a business relationship."

Or you might get an empowering pep talk from Jenny from Hollywood, which sounds like a nice experience.

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The case for not talking

Now let's address the reason you clicked on this story: to justify not talking in the UberPOOL. There are several advantages to keeping quiet on your ride, the most obvious of which is that you won't have to expend energy talking to someone whom you might not end up liking, and whom you will probably not see again.

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This is particularly true if you're heading backfrom an event rather than toan event. If you're on your way home, you're probably tired, you might be a little drunk, and you're likely ready to wind down, not embark on an exhilarating car friendship. You might prefer to look at some scenery, like trees, buildings, or garbage cans. This is perfectly fair.

Most people who use POOL and Line frequently have some kind of horror story, whether mild or severe. Once, for example, a man with whom I shared an UberPOOL wanted to talk to me (at length) about the people he'd hooked up with from previous ride share experiences. I didn't want to do that, but I felt strangely obligated to because we were in the same backseat. It sucked.

But that relatively innocuous tale pales in comparison to some of the garbage other riders, particularly women, have had to put up with in shared cars -- including outright abuse. One story from Bust, for example, details writer Miriam Mosher's harrowing experience with sexual harassment at the hands of fellow passengers:

No sooner had they opened the door, than one of the two men cooed, “look at those legs.” It startled me out of my post-work iPhone revelry. I ignored it at first, a difficult task when jammed in the back of a car with the very people you are attempting to ignore. But he continued to press me, even going so far as to reach across his friend and stroke my thigh.

With these kinds of stories around, it's totally understandable to feel skittish about talking to a stranger in close quarters.

So what is the answer?

As long as you don't treat them as your own personal dating service, UberPOOL and Lyft Line can be a pleasant way to meet people organically.But it's important to remember that most people don't use ride sharing services because they want to connect with a stranger; they use them to save money.

This means you're absolutely not obligated to strike up a conversation, nor are you obligated to engage enthusiastically with your fellow rider if you feel uncomfortable or don't have the energy. After all, the ride will probably be over in 15 minutes no matter what. Unless you're going to the airport.

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